Child Custody and Domestic Violence

When a court in Alaska decides on custody of a child, it must base its decision on the best interests of the child. One of the factors to be considered is whether or not there has been any violence between the parents-and the widespread lack of knowledge about what parents' violence means to their child is the source of many court decisions that leave Alaska's children in harm's way.

Most lawyers and many judges in Alaska are unaware of how severely a child can be affected by seeing Dad hit Mom, or by seeing Mom hit Dad, and how this experience can have lasting effects on the child. In the most typical type of violence between intimate partners-the male-initiated violence that researchers say is most prevalent, in which a man uses violence and the threat of violence to control his female partner-the repeated exposure of a child to the physical assaults can produce psychological and physical changes in the child's brain. In plain language, when a child repeatedly experiences the terror of seeing his dad hitting his mom, choking his mom, pulling his mom's hair, pushing his mom around, he can be left with psychological problems as serious as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and behavior problems as an adult. When a girl sees those same things, she can also be left with psychological problems as serious as PTSD, depression and suicidal thoughts as she grows older.

Domestic Violence and the Culture of Abuse

The reason our courts should not place children in the custody of parents who abuse their partners is that abusive behaviors are difficult to change and even the best programs to change them are successful much less than half the time. That means that an abusive parent is very likely to use the same coercive techniques to control his next partner, and a child in his care will likely again be exposed to this harmful behavior.

Another major reason why a child should not be placed in the custody of a parent who abuses his or her partner is that a child in a home where one parent batters the other is fifteen times more likely to be abused herself than a child in a non-violent home. There is also data that shows a child in a violent home is six times more likely to be sexually abused.

The final reason why a court should not place a child in the sole or shared custody of a batterer is that it sends the child a psychological message that people who use physical force to terrorize their partners and children will win.

All the Experts Agree

Because of the harm that batterers who are parents do to their children, national organizations of psychologists, doctors, lawyers and judges have declared that abusive parents should not receive custody of their children. Even the U.S. Congress has declared that there should be a presumption against placing a child in the custody of a batterer. Yet judges still frequently place children in the custody of batterers, or give them shared physical custody, or give them unsupervised visitation, even when experts recommend against it!

These difficulties are why the Alaska Legislature in 2004 enacted a law that says a court may not place a child in the custody of a batterer and may not even give the abusive parent unsupervised visitation until the parent has completed a batterers' intervention program and, if needed, drug or alcohol abuse treatment. The problem is not solved yet, as many judges are upset that their discretion has been limited in this manner-in order to keep children safe-and they are resisting application of the new statute.

Find an Experienced Domestic Violence Lawyer

The answer to this problem probably lies in better education of lawyers and judges-on an on-going basis-about how domestic violence affects the children who see it and hear it in their homes. It is important, if you are a victim of domestic violence and in litigation over custody of your child, that you select a lawyer who is knowledgeable about domestic violence and its potential effects on your child. If your lawyer doesn't know about this important issue, he or she can't do the best job of presenting the necessary information to the court. You can't assume that the judge will already know about these issues because he or she probably hasn't been through very extensive training on how domestic violence affects children who see and hear it at home. And it's not very likely that your judge reads books about domestic violence in his or her spare time, either. You must take steps to make sure that your own lawyer is aware of these issues so you can maximize the likelihood that your child will be safe in the future.

Another reason why you should have a lawyer who knows about domestic violence is that if you have been psychologically affected by abuse from your partner, your lawyer will be likely to recognize that and make sure you receive the counseling you need to deal with it. Such a lawyer will also be aware that it may be necessary to slow down the progress of your custody case so that you will have the opportunity, with the help of your therapist, to deal with the effects of abuse so that you will be a more effective witness in court with the judge; after all, that judge is the person who will make the decision about custody of your child if an agreement acceptable to you is not reached before trial.

In Anchorage and south central Alaska, contact the Law Offices of Allen M. Bailey for knowledgeable and effective assistance in your child custody case.